When I was lamenting to a friend about a problem in my marriage, she remarked, so your beautiful husband has a flaw?
We were both surprised by her statement. Why is it so much simpler to focus on the flaws of a spouse rather than the things that make them great? In my marriage, that was an “aha” moment for me. Now, whenever my partner does anything that annoys me, I remember that 90% of him is actually very good.
I wanted to know how other couples who had been married for more than 25 years had managed to stay on track, so I set out to interview couples who had kept their course through the years.
Here’s some sound advice for newlyweds on how to get their lives started as a team.
Maintaining a state of tranquillity
Rather than arguing like a bunch of high schoolers, try to stay focused on the present moment and avoid bringing up old grudges or petty disagreements. It’s crucial to set a positive example for your children in their future relationships if you’ve got kids of your own. Showing affection is contagious, as you’re teaching your students.
Continually Expand Your Knowledge
Change is inevitable, so accept it. Twenty-five years is a long time, and no one should stay the same for so long. For some, it can be hard to believe that the person you married so many years ago is still in your life. However, if a person’s core principles, ethics, and morals are in place, progress can actually enhance marital satisfaction rather than detract from it.
Adaptability is key.
Adapt to the situation. As the previous year has demonstrated, your relationship must constantly be reinvented in order to overcome the challenges it faces. Never think you’re too old to play different ‘roles’ in your marriage; by doing so, you’ll get a new perspective on your spouse’s life.
Express Your Feelings
Doing small things on a regular basis can go a long way toward showing someone you care. So I make her favorite cup of coffee every day. Because of it, she is content. Once a week, we set aside time to spend together as a couple. Even when our children were young, we made time for one another. My husband and I would go out until the kids were fast asleep so that we didn’t have to revert to Mom and Dad mode when we got home.
Continue to Laugh
The first thing that drew me to my husband was his sense of humor when we met as coworkers at the hospital where I worked. In the beginning, I was annoyed by his pranks, but he charmed me with his sense of humor and generosity of spirit. A continual flow of new jokes is the best way to keep your companion amused. I’m afraid of what will happen if I run out of food!
Support Each Other
Having separate hobbies is the only way to have a happy marriage. My hubby enjoys competing in sports. His preferred method of decompressing and unwinding is to do this. I encourage him to practice, improve, and have fun whenever he can. I enjoy listening to music. I’m in a band and we practice nonstop in the weeks preceding up to shows. Having a partner who shares my passion for simple pleasures like sunsets and a cold beer was the secret to a long and happy marriage for me.