Are you getting tired of being with your partner? It’s not too late! You just have to figure out why and take steps to fix it.
Relationships can be hard to figure out. They can make you feel like the happiest person in the world sometimes. Sometimes they spin you back down to the ground and make you wonder if you even want to be in one. Do you feel like your relationship is getting old?
It’s not enough to just go with the flow in a relationship. They take time, work, and sometimes a lot of effort. But that’s what makes an amazing relationship worth it.
The thing is, it can get boring to just sit around and watch a lot of Netflix and eat pizza. You might think that sounds like the perfect date, but if neither person puts any effort into the relationship, it can get boring fast. Most of the time, a relationship gets boring because you didn’t do anything to stop it.
Are you tired of being with your partner?
You might have loved each other for a long time. Some people may need a few months, while others may need a few years. But at some point in your relationship, you might start to wonder if you’re really happy.
So why does this keep happening? You didn’t plan to stop loving each other, but it happened anyway. Maybe you wake up one morning and decide that you no longer want to be in love. You could ignore the thought and stay with your partner, or you could have an affair with someone fun and sexy.
But before you blame love and its mysterious ways for why your current relationship is falling apart, you should ask some questions. What makes you so bored? How do you plan to deal with it? And most importantly, what caused you to lose interest in your relationship?
Once you know why your relationship is getting boring, you can stop it from happening again. And if you don’t really understand why you’re bored, you’ll never be able to have a happy relationship without some drama and boredom from time to time.
Does being bored mean that the relationship is over?
No! You can change your relationship and fix anything that’s making you bored. But you need to talk to your partner about what’s going on and find out what the real problem is. The truth is that everyone gets bored sometimes in a relationship.
It’s a pretty normal thing to do. It’s easy to get too comfortable, and then one or both of you might stop trying as hard. If that keeps going on and nothing is done to stop it, the problem could get worse and worse until it’s too late. If anything, it could be the start of a change that makes your relationship even more fun. So, don’t worry or freak out if you feel like your relationship is getting a little stale. Think of it as an alarm clock.
Signs that your relationship is getting old:
It’s important that just because a relationship is boring doesn’t mean it’s bad. How do you know if your relationship is starting to get a bit boring?
1. Habits
Routines are great for jobs, pets, and kids, but they don’t scream romance, passion, or fun when you’re with your partner. It’s nice to plan a date night every Friday, but things get boring if you always go to the same place and order the same food.
2. You always fight the same way.
Your relationship is boring if you always fight about the same thing and never do anything fun together. If you fight about what movie to watch and who has to clean the bathroom this week, you are probably sleeping your way through this courtship.
3. You can't put down your phone.
The spark between two people doesn’t always stay. This was true even before smartphones and the internet. With this new technology, there are even more things to do.
Here’s one of the most obvious signs that your relationship is getting dull. If you are both lying in bed and neither of you has said a word or looked up from your screen, something is wrong. If you’re sitting next to each other and tagging each other in memes instead of talking, you might need to figure out what’s more important. Starting with admitting that your “perfect” relationship is showing signs of being boring.
4. You never talk about how you feel.
When you start dating for the first time, you get butterflies, feel giddy, and talk about how excited you are. Even though it’s nice to have someone you’ve known for a long time, once you’re used to them, you stop telling them things because you think they already know.
It doesn’t mean anything is wrong if you haven’t said “I love you,” had a deep conversation, or talked about how you feel in a while. It could mean that you are stuck. You think your partner knows you so well at this point that it doesn’t seem necessary to share things.
5. You can only sleep in your bed.
One of the most essential parts of a healthy relationship is having sex or some other kind of physical contact. This is what started your passion in the first place and keeps it going.
So you’re in a boring relationship if all you do in bed is sleep and swipe through your phone.
6. You have plans to do things together, but you never do them.
This is a sign that your relationship is too comfortable and a little boring. You might dream of going places with your partner, and you might even talk about it, but do you actually go? If not, you should think about why. You’re in a rut and don’t want to get out of it because you’re too comfortable. But ruts are dull.
7. You compare your relationship to those of your friends.
If you often look at the relationships your friends have and wish that yours were more like theirs, that’s a pretty good sign that your love life has become boring. Though it’s only human to compare our romantic partnerships to those of others, doing so will only bring us misery. Change things up if you’re always wondering why your relationship makes you feel bored and lacks excitement.
Why you're getting tired of your relationship
We need to find out why it is getting boring. You could be bored because of any or all of these things. If you can get rid of these flaws or distractions, you’ll be able to stop being bored and have a great relationship.
Use these to figure out why you’re bored with your partner. When you find the source, you can decide what to do next.
1. Every day is the same for you
Your relationship is just a bunch of boring habits. It’s always the same, and you both know what you’ll do with each other every day of the week. When love gets boring, some of us can’t help but feel trapped, like we’re in a room with the door locked. We said that routine was a sign of a boring relationship, but routine is also what makes a relationship boring. You need to change things up! Feel like you’re stuck in life? How to change course and live the life you want.
2. You've lost the spontaneous excitement
When was the last time you and she did something fun together? When we’ve been with someone for a long time, we start to expect surprises and fun. If the relationship isn’t exciting you anymore and you’re getting bored, do something about it. Plan a trip, eat out once a week on a random day, or just do something.
3. The foundation of your relationship is weak
When two people fall in love, they should always take their time. It can put your relationship on shaky ground, especially if it’s because of one or two things, like great sex or a rebound relationship. Before falling in love or moving in with someone you’re dating, you should always take your time.
4. You're looking for better things to do.
Everywhere you look, there are better people to date. You really like your partner, but you feel like you got the short end of the stick and should be with someone better.
If you feel this way, you’ll never be happy with the person you’re dating. Split up, and go have fun. You might meet someone much better than your current partner who you deserve. But you should still keep your fingers crossed. How to end a relationship with someone you love without hurting them.
5. You're having a romantic relationship
It’s possible that you’re having an emotional affair with a friend or even a coworker without realizing it. Is it more comfortable to confide in a friend rather than your significant other when you have issues at work or at home? Having a constant feeling of loneliness and boredom is a sure sign that you and your partner need to open out to one another. You’re devoting more time and energy to the affair than to your actual partnership.
6. You have let sex get boring.
Yes, it’s true. After a few years, sexual activity can get pretty boring. But that doesn’t mean you can’t change things and bring back the sizzle. If it’s more fun for you to come up with reasons not to have sex than to actually do it, you’re not just bored with your love life.
7. You aren't making any more special memories.
Just like in life, special memories are everything in a relationship. The happy memories you have are what you remember.
The same is true for love. If you stop making new memories and exciting plans all the time, you won’t have anything to make your love feel special and wonderful.
8. You haven't talked to me in a while.
This is exactly how people in a relationship stop talking to each other. They’re too bored to talk about small things because they don’t think it matters. In reality, though, it’s the small things that matter the most.
9. You don't take small risks
Planning your whole life together is the best way to get ready for the future and to protect your relationship. You both need to do something crazy and risky to keep the relationship interesting. After all, getting off the straight path every once in a while always makes things much more interesting.
10. You miss being single deep down
This place is scary, and you’ll never get over it if you don’t learn to deal with it. It might just be a phase, but if you don’t learn to deal with it, the thought will keep coming back to you.
What did you do when you didn’t have a date? Do the same things with your partner, but don’t flirt with people of the other gender. “I want to be single again,” she said.
11. You don't have the same goals and interests.
If both of you don’t have any common interests or long-term goals, neither of you will have anything to look forward to, and you will both get bored with each other. It will make you both more excited to work toward a common goal, and it will also bring you closer together.
12. You spend too much time with each other.
Time spent together is good, but too much of it can make you feel trapped. Spend some time with your own friends or on your own. When you see each other again at the end of the day, you’ll both be glad to talk about something other than each other.
13. Someone else excites you
This happens all the time, so you shouldn’t feel like you’re a two-timing liar and cheater because of it. But even if you ignore this and don’t think about cheating, thinking about this new person who is full of life and mystery may trick you into thinking that your relationship is boring. You might not want an affair, but your relationship could feel lifeless all of a sudden. What should you do if you’re attracted to someone else?
14. Your partner is making you mad.
Do you find some of your partner’s habits, like being clumsy or being lazy, annoying? Learn how to talk to people. Unless you stop it, it will keep rolling until the end, getting bigger each time. Also, we don’t think you’re perfect either.
15. You've lost your own passions and sense of self.
Aside from being with each other, you don’t have any special times. If you give up your own life to spend more time with your partner, you will always feel like you need your own life back because you don’t know who you are anymore. Avoid this stage and learn to give yourself and your partner a lot of “me time.” Do the things you’ve always liked, and make sure you still have a life outside of your relationship.
16. You have problems outside of your relationship that are causing you stress.
If you or your partner are stressful in your family, at work, with money, or with your health, it can be hard for the relationship to stay strong. You stop trying as hard, and you might get so caught up in what’s going on that you stop talking.
Sometimes bad things happen, but your partner is the one who can help you get through them. Talk about how you feel and figure out what to do. Even if all you can do is help each other, that’s a big step forward. Stress getting in the way of your relationship?
17. You are dealing with problems from the past
If your partner cheated on you or you cheated on them in the past and you decided to try again, your relationship won’t go back to normal right away, if it does at all.
If you’ve decided to keep the relationship going, you have to forget about the past and work on making the future better.
18. You want more than they can give you
Now, this is a pretty fatal reason for a relationship to be boring, unfortunately. In a relationship when you’re staying for the sake of convenience but you both know that your needs aren’t being met, boredom is the least of your concerns.
It’s possible that you’ll have desires that can’t be fulfilled. For example, if you want to have kids and your partner doesn’t, that won’t change. If you stay, your relationship and your life will both get worse. Then you’ll have to leave to get what you want.
19. You lack a support system
Don’t give up your friends for your new partner. Some people do this and don’t even realize it. They see their friends less and less over time, and before they know it, they’re no longer close. Everyone needs help from the outside and time with other people. You can’t put all of your trust in your partner.
If you’ve lost your support system, you might start to lose hope in life, which could make your relationship worse. You’ll be bored and confused. It’s time to get back in touch with old friends or start making new ones. How to get back in touch with old friends and rebuild broken bonds
20. You're both just lazy
Long-term relationships can get boring after a while, but that shouldn’t go on for too long. You need to wake up, pay attention, and act. But if you’re both pretty lazy and happy to keep drifting like this, you’ll look back. You can get too comfortable, you know.
What to do when you're sick of your partner?
It’s easy to figure out. What do you want to do? Do you want to fix it or move on? Try hard to make things better between you and fix it. Or you could talk to your partner and take a break from each other for a while.
You don’t have many choices right now. If you’re bored with your relationship, it’s best to talk about it now rather than waiting until you both hate each other and move toward a messy breakup. What happens when you take a break from each other for a while?
How to make a dull relationship more fun
There is still hope for a relationship that is dull. You can make things fun again by doing a lot of different things. Get out of your comfort zone. Use these tips to spice up a relationship that has become dull.
1. Discuss it
The first thing you can do to stop your relationship from getting worse is to talk about it. Say that you feel like your relationship has hit a rut and you want to change things up. You could suggest things like going away for the weekend, rock climbing, or just exploring a nearby town.
2. Force yourself to act on the spot.
Some people might go to the airport and get on the first flight out. But we understand if that is too much for you. So instead, make small gestures.
Take your partner out to lunch at work to surprise them. Plan something fun for them to do when they get home. Or set up a secret date and have them do the same. But make sure your partner is putting in the same amount of work. This won’t work if you’re the only one trying to bring fun back into the relationship.
3. Bring others in
Even though you know your relationship needs a boost, there’s nothing stopping you from sitting on the couch and watching TV on date night.
By letting other people in on your plans, you will be more likely to stick to them. If you have a double date, you’re less likely to cancel or get stuck in a routine. Ask another couple you know if they want to go bowling, mini-golfing, or to an escape room. This keeps things interesting, and spending time with other couples can do the same.
4. Let's try something new together
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a planner, but sometimes it’s good to just break out of the routine and do something different.
If you always go out to dinner and a movie, try cooking or tennis lessons instead. Learn how to scuba dive, dance, or speak a different language. Learning new things with your friends is fun, reminds you of school, and shows how well you get along.
5. Get your body moving
Okay, get your head out of the mud. We’re talking about activities like couple’s yoga, kickboxing, or an adventure camp with zip lines and trust exercises. These will help you feel better physically and remind you of what your relationship may be missing.
You can also paint a room together, plant a garden, or wash the car. Even though these tasks might seem silly, they are great ways to have fun while getting something done. When your heart is beating and you’re moving around, your mood goes up, which helps move things along.
6. Liven up your love life
Don’t ever forget how important sex is to a relationship. It’s something that brings you closer together and gives relationships the closeness they need. Make it a point to try and spice up your bedroom time if your sexual life needs some work. Try sexting, role playing, dirty talk, new positions, or buying some lingerie to surprise your partner. Even going away for the weekend and getting down and dirty in a hotel might be all you need to bring back the spark that has been missing.
7. Go to therapy for couples
That doesn’t mean that your relationship can’t be fixed; it just means that you may need help to fix it. Couples therapy can help you figure out why you got into a boring relationship in the first place so you can find the best way to have fun again.
What happens if nothing helps?
If you’ve tried all of the things mentioned and nothing feels different or the changes don’t last, you need to think about the future of your relationship. Even though it’s normal for things to slow down after the honeymoon phase, that doesn’t mean you have to put up with a relationship that’s dull and lacks spark.
To make a relationship work, you both have to put in some effort, but that shouldn’t be too much. If it’s not working and you’re tired of feeling uninspired, maybe it’s time to say goodbye and focus on yourself for a while. It depends on you.
Use these 20 reasons you’re bored with your relationship to help you figure out what’s going on. And once you know what’s going on, you can decide what to do next.
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